Let's Laugh Together...

"Since he lost his money, half his friends don't know him any more"

"And the other half?"

"They don't know yet that he has lost it"

My Daughter's Music Lessons

"My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me!"

"How is that?"

They enabled me to buy the neighbours' houses at half price"

A Policeman And A Reporter

Country Policeman (at the scene of murder): "You can't come in here"

Reporter: "But I've been sent to do the murder"

Country Policeman: Well, you're too late; the murder's been done"

The French People Have Difficulty

"Did you have any difficulty with your French in Paris?"

"No, but the French people did"

Why Do They Have French Lesson?

"What's the idea of the Greens having French lesson?"

"They have adopted a French baby, and want to understand what she says when she begins to talk"

The Hen And The Dog

Jones: "Sorry, old man, that my hen got loose and scratched up your garden"

Smith: "That's all right, my dog ate your hen"

Jones: "Fine! I just ran over your dog and killed him"

How Are You On Speed?

Head of Business College: "In teaching shorthand and typewriting, we are strong for accuracy"

Inquirer: "How are you on speed?"

Head of Business College: "Well, of last year's class, six married ther employers within six months."

Congratulations

"I painted something for the Academy last year"

"Was it hung?"

"Yes, near the entrance where everybody could see it"

"Congratulations! What was it?"

"A board saying: 'Keep to the left'"

Why Does The Dog Watch Me Eat?

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from"